Cats versus Dogs
A Comedian’s Take
–By Jan McInnis, Comedian and Keynote Speaker
In my humor keynotes, I share my expertise on humor (of course), change, communications, and all sorts of things. But I am NOT an expert on animals! But that doesn’t stop this comedian from trying.
I recently rescued Figphyllis, a cute little Shih Tzu dog mix, about a block away from a busy street. The street was called Figueroa, so I named her “Fig” but that didn’t really fit. Then I called her “Phyllis” (after comedian Phyllis Diller) but I didn’t like that either, so it morphed into “Figphyllis” – a match! After five days, I found Fig Phyllis’s owner. . . who lived a block away from that busy street. Turns out I “rescued” Figphyllis from her driveway. Rescue/Kidnap. . . my intentions were good, anyway. A funny story, but sadly true!
I liked Figphyllis so much that I rescued another dog—this time from the animal shelter just to make sure the dog really needed rescuing. That’s how Dalila arrived in my life! Full disclosure: I am a cat person. I don’t know anything about dogs, including how to spell Dahlilia’s name (Figphyllis was easier!). The learning curve is steep, but now that I’m a “duel-species owner” (a term I just now made up – comedians are good at making stuff up), I’ve been trying to figure out which side of the dog-versus-cat coin I’m on.
Here’s what I’ve learned:
Dogs sleep just as much as cats, but because they are so happy to see you when you get home your conferences and meetings, with all their jumping and tail wagging and panting, it just appears that they are more active. They have fooled us all. Score one for the dogs.
I used to care if my neighbors saw me in my nightshirt with uncombed hair, flip flops and worn out sweatpants. But now, when the dog has to go to the bathroom at 4 a.m., (and I haven’t quite fixed the gate on my yard), I really don’t care if photographers from the Enquirer are outside. I grab the nearest piece of clothing and head out. Cats handle their bathroom needs privately. Score a BIG one for the cats.
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