Jan McInnis – The Work Lady®

Communicating in a Perfect World

A Comedian’s Take On Communications

Part 2

–By Jan McInnis, Comedian and Keynote Speaker

Email came along to compliment our verbal communications, but it has its own unique problems: mainly in the volume of messages. When email started out, I didn’t even think there was a need for it. I was working in the optics industry at the time (you know, for the people who build this internet stuff) but I thought email was kind of stupid and even told a co-worker “Why would I email someone who works in the next office over when I can just go talk to them?” Glad I wasn’t in charge of technology or we’d still be using stone tablets. I think email became really popular when people realized they never again had to have a face-to-face conversation with someone they didn’t like. Unfortunately the junk mail in our post office box followed us to email. I now pay a premium for my iPhone service to have instant access to email, just so I can learn that Sears has free shipping today only!

And to cut through all this spam, and make sure someone got your message, we began texting. It is succinct and quick—or it would be if I didn’t have to spend so much extra time explaining my texts. My friend sent me a text saying she’d like to meet up with me to go on a bike ride that afternoon. I immediately texted back “pervert”. . . I meant “perfect” but AutoCorrect, another “helpful” communication tool, changed my text. And some people among us are abusing the text privilege. My friend’s daughter sent 9,000 text messages in one month, and a lady in my audience said her son sent 10,000. I can’t comprehend that, because the math makes my head explode: 9,000 texts divided by 30 days in a month equals 300 a day divided by 18 waking hours equals 17 texts an hour divided by 60 minutes equals 3.5 texts a minute. There should be a competition for speed texting . . .oh wait, according to my Google research, there is! And the fastest texter gets like $50,000. Wow, how pervert is that?

Part 3 of Communicating in a Perfect World