–By Jan McInnis, Comedian and Keynote Speaker
A friend of mine mentioned that my makeup looked good. I responded with “I’m not wearing any. . . unless it’s from my humor keynote last Thursday.” Funny, but kinda true! I don’t wear a lot of makeup unless I’m on stage speaking at a convention – this is good in a way because I figure it’s saved me THOUSANDS of hours in front of the mirror. I may not look like Miss America, but I don’t really want to be Miss America, so it works out just fine.
My barefaced appearance leaves me more time to do other things that, to me, sound like more fun than poking myself in the eye with a dark pencil. I’m not “accomplished” at any of these activities, but that doesn’t stop me.
Take bike riding for example: I love it and once considered riding cross-country to see the U.S. My vision: zooming around the countryside with the wind blowing in my hair, and at every stop people would buy me a beer to celebrate my gutsy trip. In reality, my friend Diane and I signed up for the 35 mile “LA Fun Ride” and it almost killed me. An hour in, due to a bike problem, we were far, far back in a little group of about 30 people who couldn’t possibly catch up to the main pack. At one point, the police, who had been closing streets and holding the traffic lights on “green,” blared out from their bullhorn “You’re on your own!” and then took off. I had no idea what they meant until I rode through an intersection thinking that the cops were holding up traffic. A car missed me by inches, confirming that we truly were “on our own.”
Luckily I knew a short cut that lopped off five miles, so we zipped over there and inadvertently found ourselves out in front. People were applauding from the sidelines. I felt a little guilty, but since it wasn’t a race (yes, we PAID to have this kind of fun), we waved back. I realized then that cross-country biking may be a bit out of my reach. We’ve since done the ride twice with no shortcuts, but I doubt I’ll ever be able to zoom across country for 3000 miles.
I’m also a drummer and was in a band. Okay, the word “marching” was in front of the word “band.” And the words “high school” and “college” were in front of that, so it really doesn’t equate with drumming for Led Zeppelin. But if you want to hear a great marching cadence or perhaps the theme to “Hawaii Five-O,” I’m your gal. I still enjoy playing the drums, but they haven’t seen the outside of my garage in years.
Skiing is another hobby that I’ve spent my free time not perfecting. When I started 30 years ago, I bought an expensive pair of professional skis that I thought I would “grow into.” The only thing the skis grew into were antiques. After all these years, I still keep to the blue (medium) slopes, though there has been an occasional “Comedian Jan” sighting on a black diamond. . . usually followed by a lot of cursing.
And of course skis aren’t the only way to get around. I’ve always thought motorcycles were beautiful, and have been jealous of the riders zipping around the freeway with ease. I can do that, right? I mean some motorcyclists don’t look like they passed the third grade, so it’s gotta be easy for anyone! Well, not so much. Apparently if you don’t pass third grade, then maybe you ride a motorcycle on major freeways because you have nothing to live for. I do, so I don’t . . ride the freeways, that is. I still ride the motorcycle, but I’ve also gotten into motor scooters as well, and they are more my style: no gears to shift and no 70 miles per hour.
My life is cluttered with these and more unperfected hobbies and that’s okay with me. I don’t want to leave this planet without at least trying the things that look like fun . . . and you shouldn’t either. So take a look at your daily routine and see where you can save a few minutes by not doing something you don’t enjoy. Maybe it’s time to trade out the blush for the bicycle!
About the Author. . .Comedian and professional speaker Jan McInnis has shared her customized humor keynotes with thousands of associations and corporations, and she is the author of 2 books: “Convention Comedian” and “Finding the Funny Fast.” She was also featured in the Wall Street Journal ,
the Washington Post, and the Huffington Post for her clean humor.
Quote from a recent client: “Selecting a keynote speaker is a leap of faith. You might have recommendations and watch videos, but you really never know what you’re getting until that moment on the podium. Jan, I’m pleased to say that you greatly exceeded our high expectations. After your presentation, we had members who said things like, “I normally don’t like humorous keynote presentations, but I loved Jan! She was both much funnier than I expected and had really great insights.” The faith we placed in you turned out to be well founded. Thanks and congratulations on your efforts.”
