The Washington Monument is 555 feet, 5 1/8 inches tall. At his namesake memorial, Abraham Lincoln’s statue’s thumb is the length of three NFL footballs. And there are many traffic circles in D.C. because the designer. Pierre L’Enfant thought it would confuse the enemy if the city were ever attacked.
I didn’t Google this stuff! I learned it when I was a tour guide in Washington, D.C. During summers between college and right after graduation I worked on the Tourmobile, a bus that took tourists around the city for day trips. I also worked for a private tour company guiding multi-day tours with out-of-town groups in which I stayed with the group for their whole 3 or 4 day trip.
One memorable time on a private company trip, my fellow tour guide Patty and I were booked to guide a group of about 60 school kids from Nebraska (ages 10-13) around D.C. for three days. The kids were great, but the trip was challenging for a number of reasons.
I might have lost kids on a tour in my youth, but my keynotes always keep them listening and engaged!
Challenge one came the morning after touring Arlington National Cemetery (ANC). As we loaded up the kids, we noticed one of them was missing. Now ANC is HUGE and without cell phones or Apple AirTags, it was pretty hard to go out and find this kid. Plus, we had a schedule to keep! We had drilled into the kids that if they got lost, they should go to the subway, called Metro, and find their way to the Cleveland Park stop on the red line. We made the kids repeat this several times, so we decided to rely on this training and move on. (I know, I can’t believe we left the kid either, but as a 22-year-old, my critical thinking skills weren’t very well developed and even the teacher chaperone didn’t insist we should stay.)
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Challenge two came later that afternoon. This teacher had chaperoned a lot of DC trips, and she insisted that we make a stop at the forbidden Souvenir City. The tour company had forbidden us guides from bringing groups there because the souvenirs were cheaply made, not to mention that the guides and bus drivers were given incentive money (also known as kickbacks) for bringing in groups. If the tour guide agency caught you at Souvenir City with your group, you were fired on the spot!
But this teacher absolutely insisted we go. She said her kids were on very tight budgets, and they just couldn’t afford expensive gifts – a dollar went a long way at Souvenir City. She even offered to take the blame if we got caught! So, we went. Shockingly, no one from the tour agency saw our huge green DOUBLE-DECKER tour bus parked there. I was sweating the whole time, but when I got my share of the bribe ($100, which was about what I made in a day), I decided Souvenir City wasn’t so bad.
We continued touring around the city and going to the museums, until we went back to the hotel around 5 pm for dinner and to get ready for the monument night tour. As the kids got off the bus, one of them came up to us and asked, “Where’s my brother? I haven’t seen him since this morning at the cemetery.” Patty and I took a beat, and just as we were about to say “We’re not exactly sure, but he’s somewhere in DC. . .” the kid’s brother strolled up! Turns out he actually listened to our metro instructions, and he had had a really great day! The cemetery backs up to Ft. Myers army base, and he had wandered off to watch a military funeral, and then somehow ended up at the Army Base. After strolling around for a bit, he flagged down a bus full of the Army Band members headed to National Airport. When he told them he needed to get to the metro, they volunteered to take him to the airport metro stop. He then had to navigate many metro stops and switch from the blue to the red line part way through, but he made it and arrived at the hotel at the same time we did. WHEW!
Book Jan for your next event and she won’t lose anyone – they’ll all stay engaged and excited!
That night we hit challenge number 3, when the kids tired of looking at lit up monuments! They had had a long day of history, their brains were fried, and they were very restless. We were losing our audience! So we switched it up and drove over to the parking lot at the end of National Airport where the planes fly REALLY close to the ground as they land. Everyone poured out onto the grass, laid on their backs and had an exciting night watching planes land. . . it saved the evening.
The last day was our last challenge as it was quite chaotic getting 60 kids plus chaperones to their early morning flight. . . but we made it. Barely. Standing at the gate (because you could do that back then), we finally got the last kid down the jetway in the nick of time. After the agent closed the boarding door, Patty turned to me and said, “I have three boarding passes left.” All we could do was wait for the call to hear if they were missing some kids. Luckily that call never came. Turns out back then you could easily board a plane without a pass, or maybe the gate agent was flustered too!
The trip turned out to be a HUGE success, and we got many letters from the kids about what a wonderful time they had, although one girl asserted that “her T-shirt gave her a rash.” I thought about telling her to wash it first, but I’m not sure a Souvenir City T-shirt could stand up to that kind of harsh treatment.
Jan was the Keynote for our 2024 Annual Conference. She and her team were great to work with as a planner; very professional & prompt in getting back to me during the booking process & leading up to the event. Jan was the perfect person to start our day; she had the crowd laughing from the get-go! People left the session feeling upbeat and energized. Feedback from the attendees has been very positive & I wouldn’t hesitate to work with Jan again!
I learned so many lessons from this trip. Would I leave a kid alone at Arlington National Cemetery again? Probably not. But we had certainly prepared him for getting lost. We often underestimate the complexity of information that people can learn and follow correctly, but if a 12-year-old can navigate the metro system in a new city, you can probably relax on over-managing the people on your team when giving them critical information. They’ll figure it out. Also, pay attention to the signs that their brains are fried. Sometimes people just need a break to watch planes land.
Oh, and remember, there’s always a price: either you pay more for quality, or you get a discount that comes with a rash.
Jan McInnis has written for Jay Leno’s Tonight Show monologue as well as many other people, places, and groups – radio, TV, syndicated cartoon strips, and even guests on the Jerry Springer show (her parents are proud). For 26+ years she’s traveled country as a keynote speaker and comedian sharing her unique and practical tips on what business leaders can learn from comedians (no, it’s not all about telling jokes). She can be reached at www.TheWorkLady.com, or [email protected] She’s also a GREAT Master of Ceremonies. Click here for her emcee site
Connect with Jan on Facebook: www.JanFanS.com and Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/JanMcInnis
