Laughing at Dinner on the Serengeti
–By Jan McInnis, Comedian and Keynote Speaker
This is no joke. . .Can you eat 73 hot dogs WITH buns in ten minutes? Do you even want to? Well, if you did, that would make you the hot dog eating champ. I’d rather be a comedian! Or maybe you’d prefer 205 Buffalo wings in 12 minutes, 85 Moon Pies in 8 minutes, or 2.25 gallons of chili in 6 minutes? These are the stats of “winners” of real eating competitions (or maybe Tums is the real winner). These eating competitions are not only funny, but they’ve gotten to be HUGE and there’s now a whole sport of competitive eating where the winner gobbles down large quantities of food in short periods of time. Check out www.MajorLeagueEating.com for these results and more.
Why are we eating so much so fast? Are we trying to make food more fun? And who dates these competitive eaters? That would be way too expensive. “Er, so you’re a competitive eater? Can we skip dinner and just go to a movie?” Otherwise dinner lasts 7 minutes, and the bill is $800 dollars. I’m joking. . .kind of.
Maybe instead of increasing the speed and quantity of food, we should make food more interesting by taking a cue from wild animals.
I got to check out the wild animal way of “grocery shopping” and dining on my recent bucket list trip to Africa, where I went on a five-day safari on the Serengeti. Finding the food there is a challenge and the clean-up afterwards is ugly. . . trust me, after gorging on a wildebeest entree, a lioness does not look her best.
Along with learning some animal eating facts and watching their food rituals, figuring out who eats who became kind of an obsession with me on this trip. Here’s some scoop on REAL COMPETITIVE EATING:
- The tastiest animal is: THE ZEBRA!! I haven’t eaten one, but just about every animal on the
Serengeti has, so maybe we should give it a try? Ok, it doesn’t sound tasty to me either.
- After a kill, lionesses and lions eat so much that they have to lie down for days, wherever they
are – their idea of eat, drop and roll. I have to agree with them. I could not eat a whole giraffe in one sitting myself and function for the next month!
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Laughing at things that are uneven
The Art of Impatience - Nothing Funny About That
Cleaning Out The Closet - Comedy in Strange Places
Eating Wild - Laughing At Dinner on the Serengeti
Caught-in-a-Wood-Chipper-Keynote Speaking at its Best
Perfecting Nothing - Sticking to Comedy and Humor Keynotes is not Enough
Cats Versus Dogs - a comedian's take
The SANDY Rules - Keynoting at Commencement
Watching the Nutcraker Ballet 22 Times
My Dog Corpuscle - A Funny Name Foreshadowing My Future as a Keynote Speaker
Friending Your Friends - Or the Funny Thing About Friends
You Want Me to Perform Where? Comedy in Strange Situations an excerpt from my book convention Comedian Stories and Wisdom From Two Decades of Chicken Dinner
Too Sane for Fame - A Comedian's Dilemma
Looping Through Life - A Comedian's Observations
Stripper Clothing - Laughing at Labels
How I launched my comedy career because of $39 bucks - Listening to Your Inner Voice
Helpful Useless Information - Stuff I learned in My Comedy Career
The Inconvenience of Convenience - It's Kinda Funny
Comedy Wisdom - Comedy Advice I’ve Learned The Hard Way