The Inconvenience of Convenience
It’s Kinda Funny
–By Jan McInnis, Comedian and Keynote Speaker
Funny but true – Have you heard the latest craze for your aging parents? MEDCottages! They are little pop-up rooms that you put in your backyard to house your “loved ones.” I think they call ‘em MEDCottages because it doesn’t sound right to say “Grandma is sleeping out back in the tool shed.” Also, I’m guessing they used the word “med” in the product name because it sounds like “medicine,” which sounds like it might be good for you, or maybe it’s that you’ll need to pop a med (like Valium) to live in there. I’m wondering if they have different sizes: the small Medicine Cottage, or the more spacious Medicine Cabinet???
These MEDCottages are supposed to be a convenient way to deal with your elderly parents, but I think they’re really giving us baby boomers a chance to get revenge on them for making us share a room with our sister growing up.
Okay, maybe the med cottages are fine (health care people agree?), but how come some things that are done for our “convenience” seem so wrong (and funny!)? Take my grocery store for example: they bend over backwards to be convenient. Every employee I walk past asks if they can help me. Every employee! I tell the first few people that I’m fine. . . but by the fifth person, I’m not so fine. And if I do ask where an item is, they don’t point to it, they take me there! I’ve never been married, so I’m worried that the only person who will ever offer to walk me down the aisle is the produce manager at Kroger! They’re very helpful all the way up until the hardest part: check out. Then I’m supposed to “do it myself” because that’s more convenient; don’t bother the checker, she’s busy working the grocery escort service. But it’s not convenient to scan my own groceries, because I can’t calculate produce. Of course when I get a real checker they, again, try to make things way too convenient. They always ask, regardless of what I bought, if I need help to my car. That’s nice, but I bought an apple—I think I can handle it.
I was just in Mexico, and their car rentals are very convenient—they also sell beer! Hmm, perhaps it’s a ploy to make you buy the extra insurance? We’ve got convenient TV stations that we really don’t need. My dad watches the Weather Channel so he knows the temperature everywhere in the county, yet he only goes outside about once a week. This isn’t information he needs, unless his roof opens up.
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